Just, today.

Today, I stood before God in church and asked myself where I would be without Him here my life.

The answer that came back to me was pure and simple.

"Life would be a clean slate, with me walking without ink on my feet, leaving no trace of existence, at all."

It would be as if I've never lived at all. 

God, you rendered me speechless today. 

And I'm still hanging on a fine line, trying to figure if I've been joyful this year. Sure, I've been happy, but I'm not sure I've been joyful. I'm wondering if the lack of joy has been adversely affecting daily living. 

The house is a place of resounding echos again. And the only place I feel safe, is right here. 

Promises shattered, Answers don't come

Friends say goodbye, Plans come undone

Dreams get crushed, Lies get told

Words can turn cruel, Hearts can grow cold

In a broken world, where we cry to feel

Some hope that helps these hearts to heal

You're my strength, You're my refuge

In a broken world, Jesus, I'm holding to You

You make sense of the madness

And You make darkness flee

You bring such a calm, to the chaos in me

Show me life, Tell me truth

Day after day, I keep running to You

Long ago, we fell so far, yet You came to where we are

I don't want to get by. 

I want to live, knowing I got by, giving God my best and living, concurrently.